Stolen Innocence
Stolen Innocence
Author:
Elissa Wall with Lisa Pulitzer
Publisher:
HarperCollins
Date of Publication:
2008
ISBN:
978-0-06-162801-6
Rating:
7
Summary:
Stolen Innocence tells the story of Elissa Wall, a woman raised in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The book starts out describing her childhood. She spent a large portion of it in the Salt Lake Valley with her biological father, Douglas Wall, and two, then three mothers (her mother was the second wife). She spent time at Alta Academy, the school of the FLDS in the Salt Lake Valley, until it was closed down. The principal of Alta Academy while she was there was Warren Jeffs, son of Rulon Jeffs (the prophet most of the time she was growing up), and the future prophet of the FLDS.
At about the age of 13 her biological father had his priesthood revoked and lost two of his wives, including Elissa’s, Sharon Steed, mother. Her mother was reassigned to Fred Jessop, the bishop of Hildale/Colorado City, the FLDS town on the border of Utah and Arizona. Elissa lived there for about a year before her new father, Fred, and Warren Jeffs decided it was time for her to marry. She was assigned to marry her first cousin, Allen Steed, of whom she was not a fan, “Not only would they force me to get married at fourteen, they would force me to get married to the one person I had come to loathe in my short life.” (p. 134).
Despite her protests, which she describes as quite vociferous, she was forced to go through with the marriage. It took several months after the marriage, but eventually Allen convinced/forced her to have sex with him. Elissa never grew to even like Allen, let alone love him, and consistently asked for a dissolution of the marriage from both Rulon Jeffs and then Warren once Rulon died. She eventually took to sleeping in her truck at night so she would not have to spend the night with Allen in their trailer where he would regularly force her to have sex with him. In her first two years of marriage, she had two miscarriages and a stillbirth, all with a man she hated (p. 239). During the second miscarriage she fled from Allen and ended up stuck in the desert with a flat tire. Luckily, a disenfranchised male member of the FLDS, Lamont, happened by at that point (also out in the desert contemplating his future as a non-priesthood holding young man in the FLDS). He helped her change the tire then followed her as she drove to safety.
Eventually, Elissa and Lamont became friends, even though doing so was taboo among the FLDS as she was married and any romantic contact with other men was strictly forbidden. The friendship led to a romantic relationship and ultimately they became lovers. It was only when she became pregnant with Lamont’s child and was caught spending time with him that Allen, her husband, finally pushed for a divorce and was granted one by Warren Jeffs, “In one moment, what I’d been asking for since the very beginning had been granted. Not because of all my begging and pleading. Not because I’d complained about the terrible things that Allen had done to me. Not because I’d endured three years with a man I didn’t love and Warren had taken pity on me. I had been forced to suffer with no hope of it ever stopping. And now that I’d finally taken a step toward my own happiness, I was being punished and labeled a sinner.” (p. 317). Allen was commended for his efforts in the marriage, but Elissa was punished. She was initially sent back to be the property of her biological father, but she snuck out and she and Lamont left the FLDS at that point.
Within a couple years of leaving the FLDS, Elissa’s family, friends, and Utah law enforcement prevailed on her to testify against Warren Jeffs as an accomplice to rape. Since she was 14 and not willing to marry when she was forced to marry Allen and then was forced to have sex with him repeatedly against her will, this made Warren an accomplice to her rape (he arranged the marriage and performed the ceremony). Warren also knew what was happening in the relationship, knew that Elissa did not like it and wanted no part of it, but did nothing to stop it. Elissa eventually testified against Warren and Warren was convicted and sentenced to two “5 years to life” sentences. Elissa Wall was the Dane Joe who put Warren Jeffs in jail.
Review:
I have mixed feelings about this book. First, the book is very long, probably too long (431 pages). In a sense, the details of the book work at cross purposes. The fact that there are so many events recounted suggests that Elissa tried her best not to leave anything out, lending weight to the accuracy of the book. However, the detailed recounting of some specific events, particularly when it included speech, makes me a little wary. I have a decent memory, but have a really hard time remembering exactly what people said just a few minutes after I hear it, let alone years after the fact. Thus, the specific details of some of these events may be off – our memories are remarkably pliable and can change over time. I’m not questioning the broad outline of what happened – I think Elissa has probably fairly accurately recounted what happened to her (as outlined above). But the minute details of the events make me just a tad skeptical. Despite my mixed feelings here, I think the book makes some great points.
One of the characteristics of the FLDS that I think Elissa does a good job describing, even though she clearly frames it in a negative light, is the power of the “priesthood” (i.e., the authority to act in god’s name) among the FLDS, “Lines of priesthood authority are patriarchal and strictly observed. In this system all women and children basically belong to the priesthood—not just to their husband or father. In reality, they are possessions of the priesthood and the prophet, and revelations from God determine their ultimate fate. When the prophet decides to award a wife to a priesthood man, it is viewed as a transfer of a possession to the man. The prophet decides when two people should marry, when families can form, and when families that are not working are to be reorganized.” (p. 17). While there are likely members of the FLDS who would disagree with this description, it does seem to be fairly accurate. In fact, I experienced a milder version of this priesthood authority growing up in the LDS Church. While women certainly don’t “belong” to their spouses in the LDS Church (practically, theologically this is more muddied), men are still seen as the head of the household and it is generally agreed that you don’t dissent from the prophet (though it seems this may be changing, especially in light of the widespread dissent among the LDS as a result of the LDS Church’s position on Proposition 8 in California).
Another characteristic of the FLDS that, while perhaps overly critical in Elissa’s words, does seem fairly accurate, is the depiction of women, “From birth, girls are prepared for this role [marriage]. Their way of life is chosen for them by the priesthood. They are told whom to marry, what to believe, and how to live their lives. Women are taught that they have already chosen their destiny before their birth, at which point they chose to willingly place their lives in the hands of the prophet and priesthood, having everything dictated for them.” (p. 19). As she rode in the car to Nevada to be married, Elissa recalled her thoughts on the role of women among the FLDS, “It should have dawned on me that many aspects of the religion were based on revoking the rights of women. If a girl speaks her mind, get her married. Once she’s married, get her pregnant. Once she has children, she’s in for life—it’s almost impossible for any FLDS woman to take her children if she leaves, and no mother wants to leave her children behind. At the time, I was still too young and blind to see the pattern. All I could think was that this land and these people were my home, but for me—and for most FLDS women—there is an unspoken yet enormous sense of entrapment.” (p. 153).
Perhaps the most compelling evidence to support Elissa’s argument that women are poorly treated among the FLDS comes from an exchange she had with Warren Jeffs when she was trying to get him to end her marriage to Allen, “”But Uncle Warren,” I said, “I hate having husband-wife relations [sex] with him.” “You are being very selfish. You need to set aside your feelings and do what you are told to do,” he said without sympathy. His response flattened me. “I don’t know what to do because you’ve got to do something,” I said. “It is impossible for me to love this man.” “You know, you have no right to feel that way,” Warren told me, his tone growing hostile.” (p. 208). This is clearly the perspective of someone who suffered the harshest version of this system of gender stratification. I have read numerous accounts of women in the FLDS and in other polygamous groups (see Altman and Ginat’s book) who willingly choose to participate in these relationships and do not feel like they are powerless. I’m guessing the real situation is somewhere in-between these two extremes – women in the FLDS don’t have a lot of power, but probably have more than Elissa describes.
That said, Elissa’s mother, Sharon Steed, does seem to typify the role of the FLDS women Elissa describes. Sharon was forced to give up son after son in the name of the religion. She abandoned twin sons when she was sent to Hildale (p. 103). Those sons, “…begged her to come back to Salt Lake and take care of them. When she said she couldn’t, they accused her of choosing her religion over them. Her heart was torn in two, but the reality was apparent: her faith required that she choose the prophet and religion over everything else. It didn’t matter how much she loved us, missed us, or wanted us by her side. She could not forsake her duty to the prophet and priesthood.” (p. 117). One might initially think she was forced to make these decisions, and certainly there was a substantial amount of pressure to do so. But Sharon reveals her priorities at various points in the book, with disturbing effect. When Elissa reveals to her mother that she is going to testify against Warren, her mom responds with, “I’d rather see you die than fight the priesthood” (p. 338). Elissa ultimately addresses the depiction of her mother at the end of the book, “While I am sure my mother may feel disrespected and hurt by my actions, I hope she understands that coming forward was something I had to do. Her staunch support of the religion and inability to extract herself from that mindset put me in a position where she couldn’t protect me. It is for this reason that I have resolved to make it my mission to help my little sisters and others like them in any way possible.” (p. 429). While I can understand Elissa’s mother’s devotion to her religion, it is hard to argue with the fact that Sharon could do nothing to protect her daughter. She knew Elissa didn’t want to get married, but couldn’t stop it. And after the marriage, when Allen was forcing himself on Elissa, Sharon was, again, helpless. If Sharon Steed is at all representative of the women in the FLDS, there is a real problem of female disenfranchisement among the FLDS. If she’s not, I think the FLDS need to work harder to illustrate she is not.
One final point I think Elissa makes quite well in this book is her depiction of the outside world and how hard it is to adjust to it when you have spent your whole life in a community like the FLDS. Elissa was taught that blacks were the most evil people on the planet, but when she met the wife of one of her brothers who had been expelled from the group, Whitney, she realized what she had been taught all her life was not true, “As I sat there talking to Whitney, I found myself thinking that all it took was contact with the outside world and the barriers of fear that Warren had constructed came tumbling down. It was becoming much harder for me to view outsiders as evil when they were my family. Jacob was a good person and he was creating a good family. I could not stomach the idea that he, his wife, or his daughter were somehow wicked just because they were not a part of our church.” (p. 235). I experienced this same feeling as I became better acquainted with people outside the LDS prior to leaving the religion. Mormonism is not a requirement for being a good person.
But once you do finally leave, it’s very hard to adjust, “Getting out wasn’t just about starting a fresh routine, it was about establishing a totally new way of thinking. When you leave the FLDS, your whole foundation crumbles. You have to start from scratch and think about large, far-reaching questions, like What do I believe in? What about heaven? What are morals? What will I fight for? We had gained freedom and each other, but we had lost the ground beneath our feet. It made it even harder when our thoughts turned to the families we’d both lost.” (p. 329). This, too, is an accurate depiction of what I went through when I left the LDS Church. While the LDS Church does not have such an all-encompassing worldview and lifestyle as does the FLDS, it is still a particularly well-constructed sacred canopy. When the plausibility structure holding up that sacred canopy collapsed, it took quite a bit of time to build a new one. And, it was hard and painful to deal with the emotional and psychological baggage and the changes in relationships, but worth it.
While it’s difficult to judge a book like this as it is almost as though you are judging the author (it is her story), I do think it’s a good book. Elissa is definitely critical of the FLDS, though with reason as she was forced to marry and have sex with someone she disliked against her will. But she also points out that the FLDS have a lot of positive characteristics, like the tight-knit community and how supportive they are of each other (or, at least, how supportive they were in the past). I wouldn’t say it is a perfectly balanced book, but it gives a fairly accurate account of what life was like for someone who was not treated fairly in the FLDS system. It may not be the best-written book of 2008, but it’s an engaging read. I recommend it for anyone interested in the FLDS, though it should be contrasted with books that present a more positive depiction of polygamy and the FLDS (see here).