Becoming an Ex: The Process of Role Exit
Ebaugh, Helen Rose Fuchs. 1988. Becoming an Ex: The Process of Role Exit. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Rating:
10
Summary:
The book is a very intriguing theoretical and empirical treatment of a social-psychological process called “role exiting.” The basic idea is there are certain roles (with their concomitant identities) that are particularly salient in social life. Leaving such roles is often a big deal and results in the label of “ex-”, where the hyphenated part is the former role (e.g., ex-alcoholic, ex-Mormon, ex-nun, ex-athlete, etc.). Leaving these salient roles is different from leaving minor roles – e.g., fourth grader to become a fifth grader – in that the new identity and roles are at least in part defined by the old roles. As Ebaugh argues, being identified as an ex- is significantly different (not in the statistical sense) from never having been a member of the organization. For instance, consider the label ex-nun; ex-nuns have an intimate knowledge of life as a nun even though they longer identify with nuns. This is significantly different from never having been a nun, as non-nuns do not have access to the same knowledge and experience. And, as Ebaugh argues, ex-nuns will always carry with them the label of ex-nun because there are certain characteristics that are associated with that role.
Ebaugh argues that there are four major “moments” or “stages” in the role exiting process: (1) first doubts, which refers to the initial period of questioning one’s continued identification with a given role; (2) seeking and weighing of role alternatives, which refers to the period in which the questioning individual examines his/her alternatives; (3) turning points or specific moments in the transition process in which it becomes clear that the individual is leaving his/her current role; and (4) the establishment of an ex- identity, which consists of adopting new identities and negotiating the role residual (or carryover characteristics) from one’s previous role. Ebaugh is quick to point out that while these are discussed as “stages” she is not arguing that everyone will pass through these stages nor that the stages have specific time periods associated with them (p. 24). She does, however, argue that most people will pass through the stages in this order.
To test this understanding of role exiting, Ebaugh gathered close to 200 interviews from people who left salient roles, including a large sample of nuns from the early 1970s and a broad swath of other role exiters in the mid 1980s. She then explores how the interview data illustrate that in every case the stages outlined above take place, but highlights different characteristics of role exiters that vary how the stages play out. For instance, individuals who leave a salient role alone tend to take longer than those who do so with a group (p. 83). And the process of role exiting, especially the fourth stage of developing a new identity, was made significantly easier for individuals who built bridges out of their role while still in their role. For instance, Ebaugh interviewed several former medical doctors who left the profession because they no longer enjoyed it. One of the doctors became a real estate agent; he developed his interest in managing real estate while practicing medicine by using his income to buy properties and then managing them on his own. By beginning the development of his ex- identity while still in his current identity, this individual found the transition out of the salient medical professional role much easier than some of the people who left impromptu and without developing a new identity. This finding can actually be seen as one that has practical application in therapeutic settings or for those who are considering leaving a salient role: to facilitate the transition, it is recommended that those considering role exiting begin the development of their new identity before leaving the old one.
Review:
This is a very good book on many levels. Not only is the theoretical argument compelling and clear, but there is substantial empirical data used to test the model and it seems pretty clear that, with only a few minor exceptions, Ebaugh’s model accurately depicts what happens in the role exiting process.
Two additional points Ebaugh makes in analyzing her data I thought were particularly noteworthy. First, Ebaugh notes that for three-quarters of her interviewees they shared an emotion after having left the salient role. The emotion is kind of hard to describe but it can basically be considered a type of “vacuum” feeling or sense that something is missing (p. 143). It is a period of limbo many role exiters experience once they have exited their previous role but before they are positively sure what is going to happen next. Having experienced this exact sentiment in my own most salient role exits (i.e., coming home from an LDS mission and leaving the LDS Church), I was not surprised by this finding but was a little surprised it was so common among her interviewees.
The other particularly noteworthy point Ebaugh makes involves another emotion that was felt especially by the ex-nuns in her sample. Many of the nuns who left during the 1960s and 1970s felt angry and even hostile about the years they spent in convents and almost felt as though they had wasted that period in their lives (p. 170). Ebaugh doesn’t speculate as to why this was especially common among the nuns in the sample, but it is interesting that a large group of them felt this way. This finding is particularly interesting when contrasted with the finding of Wright (1987) that among the new religious movement exiters in his sample, very few felt that the time they spent in the cult was wasted. There is obviously something missing in the explanation of why some feel hostile toward their previous role while others do not.
There are a couple of points in the book that are not clearly explained or only touched on in passing that either felt out of place or seemed to be premature conclusions. For instance, in describing a characteristic shared by the mothers in her sample who gave up custody (i.e., they are basically ex-mothers and divorcees or ex-marrieds), she noted that they all seemed to have low self-esteem (p. 63). While this characteristic may be shared by mothers who give up custody, it certainly does not seem to be shared by all role-exiters. And, in fact, I think it may be a bit premature on Ebaugh’s part to argue that the mothers who gave up custody exhibited low self-esteem given they had almost all just exited very poor marriages in which the relationships tended to be abusive. While low self-esteem is emblematic of women who remain in such relationships, it is often the case that women who leave have finally found a modicum of self-esteem that allows them to take a stand. Thus, while it may have seemed that these women had low self-esteems, I think that a more accurate understanding is to realize the context of their exit and recognize that, if anything, their actions exhibit an increasing amount of self-esteem.
The second point in the book that is only touched upon in passing is Thibaut and Kelley’s (1959) idea of comparison levels for alternatives, which is really an alternative to rational choice theory in considering why individuals make the decisions they do. While I don’t disagree with Thibaut and Kelley’s argument and do find it slightly more compelling than rational choice theory – I don’t think people make decisions rationally all the time or even most of the time – I thought the inclusion of this idea was sudden and not well integrated with the rest of the book. The comparison level for alternatives idea either needed to be fleshed out in greater detail and integrated more closely with the rest of the theoretical model or left out of the book entirely. As it stands, it isn’t entirely clear how it fits into the model.
Despite the two minor problems I outlined above, I found this book very compelling and believe Ebaugh’s model of role exiting does a fine job of explaining this significant and important process in peoples’ lives. For anyone interested in why and how people leave salient roles, this book is a must read.
